Relationship Palavis- What Did God Say Now?
Across every sphere of life, the name of God is constantly used to support a cause, add validity to a statement or blatantly refute a claim. Politicians, clerics, business managers find it convenient to use the name of God frequently. You can’t blame them; God never slaps anyone directly for lying. Within the Christian circle, the spiritually or scripturally versatile uses God’s name to exploit their naïve brethren. When a romantic relationship is involved, it is not strange to find out that only one person is actually ‘hearing from God’, while the other is busy enjoying the relationship. Of course there’s nothing wrong with hearing from God if you are actually hearing correctly, but the thoughts of exploiting the other person is cruel. A romantic relationship turns to a cathedral communion, basic telephone discussion are conducted like regular church services, choking any chances of romantic connections. But this, isn’t even my primary grouse.
Hitherto, I have written an article similar to this “God told me”, addressing the issues surrounding deception and lies made in the name of God. Recently, I was personally compelled to take a microscopic look at an element of this evolving charade - Trust.
I spoke with a friend recently who shared a heart-troubling experience (I got her express permission before writing this) of her relationship with a young man she loved. He was convinced in his heart that she was God’s will for him. His words were salted with scriptures smoother than Apostle Paul. His confession of love to her would never be complete if he didn’t introduce God to the conversation. She is a Christian too, one I know and trust as a friend. Of course she did pray about it, and she had peace in her heart. As far as she was concerned, that was enough.
Though long-distanced, the relationship was smooth. At an instance Mr Pious as I have chosen to call him asked God for a sign to confirm that she was his ‘missing rib’, and he got his confirmation. Naturally and expectedly my friend fell in love with him even more. It wasn’t so much that she was naïve, rather she had peace about it and he appeared like someone who loved God. He was super caring, calling daily, promptly and consistently. She had no reasons to doubt him.
Alas, barely six months into the relationship he decided to call it off, on her special day. What an awful birthday surprise! To say her day was literarily ruined would be an understatement. They never had an issue before that morning; it was just his birthday present to her. He just wasn't sure anymore, that was his reason.
Am I in a position to judge his actions? No! Certainly there are other variables I am not aware of. But what do we make of all that God had told him months ago. Did God suddenly change His mind? Why on her birthday? Why did he lead her on if he wasn’t deeply convinced? How do you think she’d deal with trust issues in her future relationship(s)? If there was an issue couldn’t they have first spoken about it? How does love turn cold overnight? Would she not assume that all men that come in the name of God can’t be trusted? Would God approve of Mr pious' decision?
My thoughts on these are simple; don’t profess to love someone when you aren’t responsible enough to handle it. Never stir up love in the name of God only to trash it in the future. Clearly, you cannot trust anyone just because they have said “God said”, for all that matters, let God speak to you too. Love is beautiful, especially when it is genuine.
My controversial conclusion has always been; let him\her love you first as a person before introducing the name of God into the equation. Agape love is great, so is eros. I personally believe that both have a role to play and aren’t mutually exclusive. When we attempt to substitute the God kind of love for the natural love, untold heartaches are usually the consequences. Let’s desist from using the name of God as bait; you can genuinely love someone without unduly quoting God.
Thank you for reading this piece.